IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
