Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize