yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
