Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
