yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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