im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
