See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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