I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
