I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
