I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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