I just cut my nipple shaving
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
