I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize