About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
