I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
