He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
