By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
