hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Every concussion has its silver lining
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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