please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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