i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
