I wish I could punch you in the face.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize