I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
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