We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
