my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
