Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
