I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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