Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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