She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
