Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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