hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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