I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
