he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
