the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
