Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
The power of my boobs compel you
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
