It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Randomize
