It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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