Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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