i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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