The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize