If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Randomize
