I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
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