I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
