I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
