You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
