The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
