Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Let's paint friendship bongs
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
