u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
COCAINE IS GR8
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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