Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Found the puke drawer
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
