my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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