Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize