I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
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