Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
