dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
