we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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