Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
