I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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