i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize