I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
