apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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