just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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