he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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